When I woke up around six in the morning, he was nowhere to be found. Then after a few minutes, he arrived and then went directly to sleep. So imagine? He never fears to break a promise. It is easy for him to promise and also to break it!

Anyway, I feel like giving up already! I want to stop this insane relationship I am in. I want freedom!!!

My 10 years of marriage are not the best years of my life and even until now. I believe those where the years that my body physically degraded because of stress. If you look at me right now, I think you will recommend to me the best eye cream to help sooth my eye bags and wrinkles due to emotional stress!

Anyway, there were also good things and these are my children. I never regretted having them. Their presence gives me strength and joy to my life! I survived because of God’s help and by their love for me. They are my inspiration!

While waiting for him, I took the liberty of searching for Mopar performance parts. But when 6am came, there was still no sign of him. So, I texted his friends asking where my husband was. Unfortunately, they replied that he already went home. They saw him rode a trisikad.

Knowing that my husband was no longer there, I can’t help but feel betrayed again. I was really hoping that he would keep his promise but still he didn’t. He spent his Christmas with his drinking friends at the bridge. He went home 6pm as if he had done nothing. No regrets. No remorse.

I talked to him but as simple as one two three, he said sorry. After that, he said that was it, end of discussion.

Anyway, I was amazed with myself that I didn’t pick up a fight. I just told him not to do it anymore because it’s hurting the whole family. After that, I went and go on with my everyday routine. Maybe I got tired of the reoccurring issue that I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I felt that another talk would be useless.

Oh well, I also told him not to go out on New Year’s Eve or else I am going to make a war scene here in our house. He just agreed. I hope this time he will be man enough to keep his promise.

Oh well, I am so sad right now. I felt that I have failed to prepare for a wonderful Christmas for my children! I feel so mad at myself.

Why I am getting a lot of stress? Well, some server administrator would just tell you that they can’t help you and just try googling the problem! Gesh…isn’t that the most insane answer you can get? You pay them and then their service is not that good. They just left you floating unanswered!

Anyway, until now, I haven’t finished doing all the necessary things that I needed to get it done. Now, I felt like I drank a couple of weight loss pills because I have even forgotten to eat my lunch. It seems like I am having a hunger strike!

All my financial problems are piling up. After he took the ATM with Baby Bella’s savings on it (which will be used as a Medicare supplement to my child delivery), he again took some from me again. It was very irritating because that was my last money that the family will need to adjust and survive on for the next few days. And now, he spent it drinking in a place God knows where!

I love my husband but I am also human. I am capable of hurt and anger.

When I talk to him about it, he just tells me that I need to be more patient because he is having a hard time saying no to his old habit. But from the looks of it, he is not even “trying” to stop. He just allows things to happen and just indulge himself without thinking twice!

I really hate him! I also hate myself. In my current situation, I felt hopeless and futureless!

If you are in my situation right now and on a diet, I guess you don’t need to take fat burners anymore because the stress will surely lag down your health! I am into too much stress because of my marriage, my house being in chaos and my income is going down the drain because I am missing a lot of opportunities online! And on top of that, I have too many bills to pay and financial obligation to fulfill. Isn’t that tiring??

Anyway, I asked him about the weights and why he isn’t using it anymore. Well, he just told me immediately that he doesn’t like using it this time because it still lacking. He said there are other sets that needed to be bought to complete the routine! Isn’t that annoying?!

Oh well, I just wished I didn’t bought him those weights. I should have bought a Kettlebell for myself. I might not use it now but will sure use it after I gave birth to my baby. If he needs to trim down, well, I need to shape up myself once I gave birth. Grrr…I shouldn’t have spoiled him!