Mommy Emotes

Most pregnant women gain weight tremendously, as for my case, my baby is gaining much from what I have eaten. My weight gain is because of my baby’s growth not because of myself. Since I have done normal delivery since my first and second baby, I am hoping and planning that my third would be the same too. I don’t want to have a caesarian operation. Aside from being expensive, I don’t want to get myself knifed!

So right now, I am on a diet. I only eat two full rice meals a day to get low on carbohydrates. I only eat snacks in moderate quantities in between. I wish to eat three to four rice meals a day but since I can’t take any of the best diet supplements because of my situation, I have no choice but to control myself. Limit my intake so that the baby wouldn’t grow beyond the normal weight.

Oh well, I can still go back to my regular eating habit once the baby is out. I will be breastfeeding her. So I have the excuse to eat as many as I can so that I could provide more milk!

Though I am not into fashion, I do prefer to have a few things to own. Most of these things are bags, wallets and shoes! I am not into dresses but only accessories in which I prefer quality because I don’t buy so much to have it all in quantity.

Anyway, speaking of shoes, I saw cute Dansko Stapled Clogs at www.footwearetc.com. They look so pretty and I want to have one! It looks very comfortable and I am sure it’s durable too! Anybody here care to send me one for my birthday? Any angels?

Well, what do you know?! Somebody has decided to come home after spending my hard earned money in drinking!! Yes, my husband has just arrived from drinking again. This time it’s already a miracle that he got home on a Sunday evening. Last week he arrived Monday morning which caused him to be absent from work!

All my financial problems are piling up. After he took the ATM with Baby Bella’s savings on it (which will be used as a Medicare supplement to my child delivery), he again took some from me again. It was very irritating because that was my last money that the family will need to adjust and survive on for the next few days. And now, he spent it drinking in a place God knows where!

I love my husband but I am also human. I am capable of hurt and anger.

I am still awake and still waiting for my husband to arrive from his drinking habit. I have spent countless hours over the internet searching and comparing term life insurance quotes while waiting for him. Now, it’s already past 4AM and I doubt if he is ever coming home in the next few minutes. Grrr…It really makes me mad when he promises and just breaks it without hesitation.

When I talk to him about it, he just tells me that I need to be more patient because he is having a hard time saying no to his old habit. But from the looks of it, he is not even “trying” to stop. He just allows things to happen and just indulge himself without thinking twice!

I really hate him! I also hate myself. In my current situation, I felt hopeless and futureless!

My husband arrived around 5am. He told me that he slept at his friend’s house because he was already too drunk to go home. And once he is drunk, he is afraid to be home because he is emotionally violent and sometime physically violent. He can’t shut himself up because of being so drunk!

If you are in my situation right now and on a diet, I guess you don’t need to take fat burners anymore because the stress will surely lag down your health! I am into too much stress because of my marriage, my house being in chaos and my income is going down the drain because I am missing a lot of opportunities online! And on top of that, I have too many bills to pay and financial obligation to fulfill. Isn’t that tiring??