Mommy Emotes

While I was visiting my blogs and dropping ECs on them, I was really shocked to find out that this blog of mine got a “No Such User” message when I dropped my EC. I really don’t know what the reason why they have deleted this blog since they haven’t sent me any email to inform or warn me of my violations. I was just caught with a hello on my face!

Anyway, I haven’t sent EntreCard an email why they have deleted this blog. I just felt that I am no longer interested in reinstating this one to their system. I have lost the will to be with them after what happened. Oh well, I still have blogs in their system. I just wish they don’t go on deleting them without any warning.

One of the things that I feared the most when my husband will buy a vehicle is his drinking habit. Having your own transportation has a lot of benefits but when the night time comes, it will be easier for him to go out and drink somewhere else with his friends.

Drinking and driving definitely is not a match. Even if you have bought car insurance or my husband has life, it would not matter to me at all. I prefer my husband with me and drinking away from him!

I admit that I have spoiled my husband so badly. Now, I am suffering from it and am having a hard time removing myself from this situation.

Anyway, I have just realized that I have been so mindful of him in terms of my time, my talent and my treasure. If he wants me, I am there for him. If he needs something, I will do it for him. If he wants something, I buy it for him. Then later, I noticed that I haven’t done anything for myself. Much worst, my time, my talent and my treasure should be prioritized for God! I felt so utterly guilty inside.

Before, I already planned to have my “ME TIME” or my “ME NEEDS.” I wanted to have a time and buy something for myself so that I would not get frustrated. I even searched for cheap term insurance quotes so that I can set aside for the future just in case. I also wrote some business projects that I will fund using my income online. And yes, all to no avail! I am trapped in my desires to love, care and spoil my husband in which most people have already told me that he is not worth it at all!

I have been very down lately. It seems that my emotional problems with regards to my marriage have taken the best of me again. Being promised to and then broken so many times can somehow take away the courage to believe and pursue things again.

Most of the time, I don’t felt like doing the things that I used to love before. I just find myself sleeping in the morning and in the afternoon. Some of my friends told me that I should relax. They said getting space might help, so I need to check some travel deals that suits me. Some said getting a spa for pregnant moms can also relieve the stress.

Yet again…I think physical relievers could not really take away what I felt inside. I think the cure for this is much more than what can be availed physically.

After church, the whole family took a snack at the food court in a nearby department store. Then after finishing our snacks, we were able to pass by the sports section of the store. I saw the weights my husband wanted to buy. He was really enthusiastic. He really thought I was going to buy him a pair of weights!

Anyway, I just told him that I will buy him soon but not now. We still have a lot of pending payables that we need to prioritize. Our discussion went great because he understood our present situation. But then, I jokingly said that I read a great Clinicallix reviews and maybe he would try taking pills instead of buying weights. He just smiled at me!