I am a FAILURE!!
How did your Christmas go? Well, I guess most of you are fortunate to have your loved ones around. For that I envy you. My Christmas was the third worst I ever had. The first was 2006 and the second was last year and then now. And to be honest, the worst of them all was yesterday!!
My husband told me that he wants me to go home to Cagayan de Oro because he doesn’t like my attitude anymore. He blamed me for my son’s hospitalization. He said I was not trying my best to become a good wife and mom. He also said that I was abusing him.
Ok, I admit…I can’t cook and I am not a perfect wife and mom either. I tried to take care of him and our baby boy the best way I know how and still in the process of learning how to improve on it. I am also a vocal person. I tell him how I feel and what I want. He says I am irritating him while I was only asking for open communication.
What happened? Since he spent most of his time drinking outside the house with our neighbors and didn’t even spent Christmas Eve dinner with us, I only asked that he spend the Christmas Day with us. And guess what?! Our neighbor waked him up around 12nn to drink again. I was amazed when he stood up and went outside. Because of that, I got furious and did not give him any smile! When he asked me why, I told him about it. After awhile, our discussion got into a blast from the past, and then suddenly he told me that he doesn’t want me here anymore and that our baby boy and I should go home. He said I can’t change and he can’t change, so better off that I go home! He also said, the kids are better off with my parents because I don’t know how to take care of them.
After hearing all these things, I cried and said sorry that I wasn’t the best wife and mom. I said I will try my very best to prove it and begged for another year but he said he don’t want it anymore. He doesn’t want me here with him. He said maybe I will change if I were to go home and that we live separate lives.
Honestly, I was really shocked! I complained about his weaknesses but still I put up with him because I love him. I am sincere to uphold my vows to love him for better and for worst, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part but I was shocked that he gave up on me! He gave up on me because I was not enough as a wife and mom for him?!
Can he not see the effort I am putting here?! Can he not see that I am trying to improve my skills as a mom and wife?! I gave up my work as a branch manager just to stay home and learn to become a good house wife and mom but still he gave up on me.
So, what am I? I am a total failure! What else can I say but I failed to become a wife and a mom. So, is this the end of me? Should I go back to work? To be honest, I am losing my self-esteem here. If I failed to become a good mom and wife, then I bet I will surely fail in everything. And if that’s the case, I think I should give it up all together! There is no sense of pursuing things. 
6 Comments to I am a FAILURE!!
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Never Miss a Thing
Adgitize Here
Not you, it’s the booze!
Mommy R this is too much…you know my thoughts on this…I think it’s time to leave and never look back. It is quite clear that he is abusing you….I’m sorry…you have already given hem umpteenth chances already….
Ruby, I agree with zriz this is just too much! Enough is enough. This guy doesn’t deserve you at all. You are not a failure – he is.
Hi! It’s my first time here, and what an explosive post to read! I don’t know you (yet) and I certainly don’t know your husband, pero he already sounds rude to me, and so inconsiderate of your feelings. I hope things work out for you, if it means living separate lives, so be it. Anyway, looking forward to visiting here more often. Oh, I hope you have your daughter with you soon.
It’s not you its him that needs to change and obviously he doesn’t want to. I bet you’d be better off without HIM, not the other way around. Maybe you guys do need a time out? Time apart to sort out your feelings?
Amen to the comment of the others. How much more of this can you take I wonder?
Mommy J